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Showing posts from September, 2019

éphagon

The call came again as it had countless times before; billowing forth from the forest at the onset of dusk with a cadence not unlike a heavy breath. It washed over Eyuri in the same familiar manner, giving rise at once to an equally reminiscent yearning that he was powerless to understand. He had tried a number of times to put that strange feeling into words; however, it had proven to be a somewhat fruitless effort. "A whisper of satiety carried softly on the winds of famine," he murmured raising a glass of amber colored liquid to his lips. "...no....still not quite...." His words seemed to float away on the breeze and were quickly forgotten, never to be finished or truly examined.

Eyuri sat beneath the lonely sycamore behind his home, which had become a nightly ritual, and peered at the swaying woodland multitude through the twilight.  The smell of bourbon mingled with the autumn air; whispering to him of the credence of his peculiar interests, the effects of each serving only to renew interest in the other. He scarcely moved, save to savor another sip from his libation, and the only sound to be heard was the clamoring of a legion of leaves in the grasp of the of the restless evening air. This was nothing new to Eyuri, and were he asked, he could have given no reason that the evening should end any different than countless others; stumbling indoors, but unsure whether to blame the bourbon or the peculiar longing that seemed to force itself upon him. That evening, nevertheless, failed to keep with its scheduled mediocrity.

Unlike the preceding evenings, Eyuri found himself slowly rousing himself from his stupor. The decision was sudden, and a product of compulsion more so that thought or will. His body seemed to move of its own volition, but in compliment to the strange urge that encapsulated his cognition. His movements were almost mechanical as if driven by a purpose other than his own, and fortunately so, as he could think of nothing other than how beautiful the leaves were in their countless undulations. It occurred to him that, in the dying light of the evening, the whole forest seemed to be ablaze. The notion was nothing less than gratifying. Had his mind been less absent, he may even have fancied the idea that he alone would dare to approach the maw of this strange inferno. The peculiarity, however, was lost in his present fugue.

He reached the edge of the forest  having only barely acknowledged his own journey. The air was thick with aroma of dried pine needles, and the faint sweetness only made it seem all the more inviting. The last vestiges of daylight seeped through the canopy casting a handful of embers into the darkness beneath, and Eyuri watched as the shadows hid from them only to return moments later a shade darker than before. A less clouded mind likely would have found the image much more foreboding, but he did not hesitate to enter. "The leaves were the flames, and the heart of the forest - coal," he scoffed as he approached a small clearing. So began the second leg of his body's autonomous expedition.

A mild October chill sent a shiver through Eyuri's meager frame, and he was suddenly acutely aware of the intensity of the darkness. It seemed as thought he were being swallowed up along with the rest of the outside world with each step he took. It was neither the same, nor as simple as nightfall; the night existed apart from the light, not by obscuring it. There was something striking, if not slightly ominous about the realization; nevertheless, Eyuri was determined to ventured deeper; escorted by the towering sentries of the timberland. It was only after sometime that he noticed a faint, unnatural glow looming in the distance. It grew in size and intensity as he approached, until at last it bathed all of his surrounding in a pale greyish-blue. The glow seemed to draw the color and features out of the surround objects, melding them into one featureless amalgam. Eyuri was completely baffled by the sight of it, and by its nature of obviation; however, he wasn't allowed much time to ponder its nature before something even more curious presented itself.

From the periphery of the glow, there emerged a figure. It appeared to be that of a woman, clad in flowing black vestments. Eyuri was dumbfounded not only by her presence, but also by her beauty. Her hair fell gracefully to her waist, an obsidian cataract, and her gait suggested a regal nature. Eyuri couldn't see her face, as it was covered by a decorative veil of black lace; however, he could see just enough peaking out from underneath to note her crimson lips. She, of all things in the area, was the only one whos features and hues the strange glow could not obliviate. As Eyuri stared at her, he could feel the strange desire within himself more strongly than ever before. He began to wonder if she, somehow, was the source of the forests ceaseless whispers. He watched in silence, leaning against trunk of a nearby tree he felt certain would obscure him from view.

The figure did not speak, but moved slowly and with purpose. She made her way to the center of the glowing area before stopping and turning to face Eyuri's direction. Eyuris eyes widened and his heart began to pound. He had been certain moments before that he was hidden, but now he felt as though he had be laid bare. He tried to assure himself that it was only a coincidence, but as quickly has he had done so, the figure raised a hand and pointed in his direction. The pointing gesture was quickly replaced with a slow and deliberate 'come hither' motion. Eyuri was in shock, and every fiber of his sanity screamed at him to run, and in truth he had considered doing so; however, as he gazed up the veiled figure, her lips curled softly into an alluring smile. It had an instant sedative effect, and the forge hammer in his chest was quieted. He assured himself that his fear was comical; a mere trick of the mind in a unfamiliar setting. "Surely, such a smile must bode well for me," he thought as he took his first step toward his strange new acquaintance.

Eyuri began his approach with an air of apprehension, but as he drew closer his reservations drifted away. As he examined the woman before him, he couldn't help but to feel taken with her. Her pallor he would have likened to that of pearl, and served only to accentuate the loveliness of her smile. The more he looked upon her, the more fortunate their meeting seemed. "What a curious string of affairs to bring two people together," he though with foolish confidence. When at last he stood before her, he extended his hand in greeting. "Pardon me, Madam. I did not mean to intrude." he said cordially. The figure did not speak, but took his hand in hers; her smile did not waiver. Eyuri noticed that her hand felt strangely cold, but he couldn't be bothered to take his eyes off her smile to investigate. "My name is Eyur....," he began, though before he could finish she bought his silence by placing a finger across her lips. She then stepped forward, drawing in close until she met him face to face. Eyuri was disarmed by her boldness and paralyzed by the shocking sudden intimacy of their interaction. Without hesitation, the woman pressed her lips firmly against his.

Eyuri could not muster the presence of mind to be perplexed. The kiss brought with it what he could only describe as ecstasy. It was a feeling unlike any other he experienced, being both wildly exhilarating and yet bringing with it a strange feeling of exertion. It felt as though the strength were being pulled from his body with each wave of inexplicable pleasure. Eyuri closed his eyes reflexively and surrendered to the moment. The voice in his head, still shrieking in vain of danger, had been drowned out in his acquiescence to wanton sensuality. It was short-lived; however, for when the figures lips parted from his he felt nothing but a debilitating emptiness. Unable to sustain himself, he collapsed at her feet. It seemed a daunting task to even open his eyes but, mustering his strength, he did so.

What Euyri saw he could not explain. The beautiful figure that had drawn him in was now a skeletal creature. It's skin was like leather, and appeared to be draped over the bones like cloth. The hands that had once beckoned him were now twisted, bearing talon like nails of a yellowish hue, and the creatures once rosy lips were now distended, revealing stained and well worn teeth. The creature lifted its hands to its face and removed the veil. As it floated toward the ground, Eyuri finally caught a glimpse of the creatures face. It resembled that of an old crone; the furrowed brown framed in matted, white hair. The most notable feature; however, were the piercing black eyes; eyes that reminded Eyuri of the darkness of the forest, and its ravenous nature. Shortly thereafter, his eyes would close again.

The creature moved its hand over Eyuri's body, which decayed rapidly until only a pile of dust remained. Gathering the dust together into its palms, the creature muttered a few unintelligible words before taking an unnaturally deep breath. As the creature exhaled, a gentle breeze rushed through the forest, carrying what remained of Eyuri off into its depths. With that, the creature vanished into the darkness. As the morning sun shown over the canopy, the sunlight igniting the sea of leaves once again, Eyuri's remains settled amid the flames he had loved so well.

The Scream


I remember I felt like screaming
With everything I was like an atavist
At the top of my lungs as if going to war.

Maybe it would scare those feelings away
Just maybe I could drown the melancholy in rage
Deafen it and leave it shaken in its silence.

I wanted to forget that I had a heart
To let go of cascading inadequacy and breathe
To for once feel like I wouldn’t always be a stranger.

What if for once the smiles weren’t empty
And I, without escaping into the vicarious,
Could avoid the cavitating grasp of loneliness.

How readily would I bend a knee to that strange alter
Where far from the empty promises of salvation
I might find some semblance of normalcy

But I can’t
And they weren’t
And I couldn’t

So I Screamed.

Roil

She possessed me at a glance
Or rather, her smile summoned me
Framed in crimson, and ethereal in nature
It commanded the sacrifice of reality
The utter abdication of will in reverence
Yet, she had scarcely spoken

It was but a moment
A simple fleeting glimpse
Yet she would allow nothing ephemeral
Her gaze made a captive of time
And I sought to dwell in that transitory eternity

Verily, those eyes called to my very spirit
Beckoning me into their endless fathoms
Until at least, she passed me by
My delusion drawn back like the tide

I watched as another’s arms enfolded her
A beautiful moment, the ocean meeting the shore
Yet I remembered the roil
And how I had wished therein to drown.

Of Seas and Sirens


Dimitri watched as the day’s final moments drained away, much like the amber colored liquid in the bottle he now held to his lips. It seemed somehow fitting that the daylight should disappear with the rum. After all, moonlight was often much kinder to a broken spirit than the warming rays of day, and there was little reason to fear the chill of nightfall when wrapped tightly in the arms of libation. A gentle breeze drifted in off the ocean, flooding over him like a relic of the past, and for a moment, he closed his eyes to dwell in it.  Dimitri could recall the character of the ocean; its volatile temper, and it voice like a chorus of endless waves. He could recall the gentle motion of his vessel, and how it had lulled him to sleep those many nights at sea. Above all, however, he could remember her; the look of unobscured terror in her eyes; and the shrillness of her pleas. He could remember the way her hand felt as it slipped from his grasp, and the moment she crashed into the churning waters below. The cacophonous nature of the memory was always enough to violently return him to the present.

Dimitri raised a trembling hand to wipe the sweat from his brow before rousing himself. He walked along the beach, his feet dragging in the sand either through lack of volition or traumatic sedation. In truth, there was no promise of peace in his journey home. There was only the empty house, which by nature was evocative of the same specter of memory, and the countless creeping mnemonic shadows that dwelled within. She was certain to be taken from him again, just as she was each night before; the sea would once again violate the sanctity of his dreams, leaving him to drown his sorrows in other waters. The mere thought was enough to make him shudder with apprehension.

The moon has risen, and its pale glow danced along the surface of the waters. Ironically, these twilight hours were the only source of solace left for Dimitri. He could recall a time when she stood on the bow of his ship, mystified by the glassy, undulating surface. “Look Dimitri! The waves rise and fall like so many Jewels….like a king’s tapestry, or a queens gown….wouldn’t we wear such royalty well?” She whispered on one such occasion. Dimitri had smiled as he gently caressed her cheek, “Aye Mina,” he said with a slight chuckle, “but what need have I for royalty when I have you?” In that moment, Mina’s face, beaming and draped in moonlight, had been etched forever into his memory. Though much less somber before the intervention of cruel fate, the vestiges of that perfect moment had been enough to shepherd him, albeit barely, through the encroaching darkness.

Dimitri continued his shambling across the sand until he was startled by a glimmer in the distance. He was within a mile of home, and would likely have continued his journey had he anything to look forward to; however, considering the circumstances he allowed himself to succumb to his curiosity. At first he thought it was just an optical illusion fueled by fatigue or indulgence, but the longer he looked at the gleaming anomaly, the more pronounced it seemed to become. “It’s coming closer,” he murmured almost unintelligibly. After watching for what seemed like only minutes, the glowing object was now only a short distances away.

              Dimitri studied the peculiar phenomena as best he could from his position on the shore, but the water’s shimmering surface was unlike anything he had seen in his years as a wayfarer. As he watched, the spot began to move upward, stretching itself into a slender vertical column. The column separated itself from the water and began a slow transfiguration, which culminated in a form that was veritably human. Dimitri was now completely engrossed by the spectacle before him, and for a moment, he wondered if he was facing some sort of phantom. As he peered inquisitively at the luminous figure, it slowly turned to face him, and he found himself greeted with an all too familiar smile, drenched in the light of the moon.
              The revelation caused Dimitri to recoil in utter disbelief.  “Impossible,” he gasped “Mina….can it really be you?” He rubbed his eyes vigorously, as if to arouse himself from some new species of nightmare to no avail. When his eyes opened, the smiling figure remained, her unmistakable features screaming to him as if he stood at the gates of oblivion. She raised a ghostly arm and motioned to Dimitri. It was a summons he was almost too eager to answer. Without thinking he had begun walking towards her only to meet with the harsh reminder that she was standing in the midst of the sea. As if sensing his reticence, the apparition motioned again, calling out in a familiar voice “Dimitri…Come to me.” As she spoke, a large columnar swath of the ocean took on the same spectral glow. It appeared to Dimitri that she was making a path for him. He was aware of the insanity of the notion, but given the current circumstances sanity didn’t seem to be a very valid method of evaluating anything.

              Gathering his resolve, the bewitched Dimitri took a step onto radiant surface. To his amazement, the churning water seemed to solidify beneath his feet. A feeling of unease crept over him as he walked across the surface of the water, but as he drew closer to the apparition he became more and more convinced that she was Mina. When at last Dimitri met her face to face, her gaze alone was enough shatter the entirety of his perception. His past and future seemed to meld together in an instant, and all at once he felt as though he was alive in that one singular moment when they stood together on the bow of his ship. Dimitri greeted the apparition with a loving embrace, as tears streamed freely down his cheeks.  The apparition responded in kind, the warmth of her embrace inspiring what could only be called elation in the love-sick sailor.

“Look Dimitri! The waves rise and fall like so many Jewels….wouldn’t we wear such royalty well?” whispered the apparition. The voice had become obscured, but the growing intensity of her embrace imbued such ecstasy that Dimitri scarcely noticed. He was only aware, and faintly so, of the burning sensation developing within his chest, which he hastily dismissed as a consequence of overwhelming passion. “What need have I for Royalty?” thought Dimitri as the water filled his lungs. “All I’ll ever need is you, Mina, my love.” Never had he worn a more brilliant smile than that which he wore on the ocean floor.

Let Me Fall ( Let it go Parody - Frozen)

The ash falls quietly in Sheol tonight,
As I welcome the unclean.
A Kingdom of Desolation,
And you’re damn right, I’m the King.

The flames are blazing now to torment those inside,
Cast out by heaven, now in me abide.

I’ll let them in, I’ll set them free
Be as thou wilt, not as you’re told to be
Come ye and answer desire’s call
In this unhallowed hall!

Let me fall, Let me fall
Of Angelic grace relieved
Let me fall, Left me fall
My perfect pride achieved!

I don’t Care
What those above may say
Let the flames burn on,
My soul always bothered me anyway.

Its funny how divinity
Paints wrath a pleasant hue
But revel not in judgments
Or the one they’ll judge is you!

What light rejects my shade receives
A lake of fire by cruelty conceived
All justified by Liturgy
Don’t you see?

Let me fall, Let me fall
Once lauded, now reviled
Let me fall, Let me fall
So much for Mercy Mild

Damned I Am
And Damned I’ll Stay
Lets the Flames Rage on
My soul always bothered me anyway.

Drăculești

A kiss sealed the Chrysalis
And ‘pon rosewater tides did depose
All reason, despite fevered dissidence
As desire contrived repose

An adulterated metamorphosis
The shell By ruby lips imbued
With a clear and present longing
Both in presence and In Fugue

A butterfly in promise
In absence tainted by heart’s Pang
Emerged a crimson moth in practice
Now beholden to the Fang

A new Voracious hunger
At the behest of the infernal
Replaces passion unrelenting
With insanity eternal.

Matches

It occurred to me, in the midst of some unsettling memory
We’re just like matches, you and me.
Sculpted spines of yew and pine
Draped in human volatility.

It occurred to me, just the same
That I, with no certainty of gain,
Would dash myself on some textured pane
And beg to ignite; to phosphoresce in vain
So that perhaps you’d see me.

It occurred to me, in simplest practice
One should take care in the striking of matches
For some find their labors by fire rewarded
Yet others find, with a deafening crack
A broken back, and the spark that they lack.